So they finally billed me, on the last day of the time they were allowed.

But, they billed me for the correct amount for 3 months, and then some random amount for one. Weird. But whatever, I'm not sure the R150 is worth the fight.

Amusingly, they still haven't cut off my access. Neither have they billed me for the modem. Oh, and neither have they actually told me anything.

One other thing they've screwed up, is that they haven't loaded this special little tag onto my account to ensure that I actually do get my discount. VERY clever. But that luckily is something that I can sort out with MY people, and they don't even need to know. Morons.

.... manipulated me into buying a 3G card, which I've now signed a two year contract for, and he only needs it for one week. He actually made me go into Autopage to do this and I swore since my episode of 2004, that I would never set foot in an Autopage branch again. I don't know where they get their employees from, but I think they breed them in some special Autopage school and train them to be incompetent, useless and braindead.

Anticipating their degree of uselessness, I phoned them yesterday to warn them that I would be coming in to get a 3G card. I must have been talking to Jusraf from Nedbank's brother (see post I'M A VICTIM). I reckon those brother's have one brain and then share it between them. Nazim was borrowing the brain the day I phoned Nedbank and yesterday, Jusraf clearly had it.

Me: Hi. I'm an Autopage customer and need a 3G card. What do I need to give you?
Nazim: You're a customer with Autopage?
Me: Is there an echo?
N: You will need a copy of your ID, three month's worth of bank statements and a copy of your payslip.
Me: Fine. What time do you close?
N: 5:30.
Me: You sure? Great. I'll be there at 5.

Get there at 4:50 to find a massive CLOSED sign on the door. Of course there was. God forbid Nazim would actually be there when he said he would. Maybe Jusraf phoned him to say he could have his brain back.

Not letting Nazim win, I went back this morning.

Me: Hi, I was here at 4:40 yesterday and you guys were closed.
Nazim and fellow idiots all turn and look at each other as if I'm the crazy person.
Nazim: No mam, I was here till 7pm.
Me: The lights were off and there was a massive CLOSED sign on the door.
Nazim: You must have come when I was in the storeroom.
Me: That must be it.
Me: So. Here is everything you told me to bring. Can I have a 3G card please?

Nazim hands me fifty million friggin forms and goes off to photocopy all my documents. If they have a file for me at Autopage, it must contain about 70 copies of my ID, because that is how many times they have photocopied it in my lifetime.
Nazim takes my forms and then looks at me with an expecting look.
I look back at Nazim with an expecting look. After all, I'm expecting something here.

Me: Can I have it now please?
Nazim: Sorry?
Me: The 3G card.
Nazim: Oh. I don't know if we have any in stock.
Me: Are you friggin kidding me?!
Nazim: I'll go look in the storeroom.
Me: Does that mean you're going to switch all the lights off and put a massive CLOSED sign on the door?

I wait and I wait and I wait. That storeroom must be the size of a small country which I imagine is where they breed their Nazim's and their Jusraf's to annoy loyal (and by loyal, I mean forced by an excessively long contract) customers like myself.
Five days later Nazim comes back to tell me that surprise, surprise they don't have stock but they're going to phone the other branches. I always find it fascinating when a shop like Autopage which advertises itself as "largest independent provider of cellular telephony with strong strategic alliances with all network operators" doesn't actually stock any of the shit it promises to sell you.

I take my last breath and use it to tell Nazim that I can't cope anymore and he can phone all the branches in the world and I will send my brother to fetch it. Since he hasn't been in the country for some time, I can only imagine he'll get a major kick out of this.

Then one of my largest customers had the SIM card for their GSM modem suspended by Autopage, their cell phone company. This effectively blocked the sending of 2000 appointment reminder messages the first day, and when it was repeated the second day 992 messages were blocked before we picked it up. Needless to say Autopage is a really popular supplier with this client right now.

Stiltwalkers, fire eaters and jugglers set a phenomenal colourful musical setting at Altech Autopage's Moulin Rouge year-end function. In true Moulin Rouge style, a swinging lady welcomed guests as they entered the top hat and tail extravaganza. All Altech Autopage's employees were, without doubt, VIP's and were ensured an evening of glamour and entertainment was to follow.

Rich burgundy and red colours extended the Moulin Rouge theme, where staircases were lavishly draped with red feathers and entwined with soft ambience fairy lights.

The awards ceremony to express gratitude to staff for their commitment and hard work throughout the year and celebrations of a successful 2007 was followed by an opportunity for staff to let go and have a jol.

Can anyone access their online accounts with Autopage?

I am getting several different errors. At first I was able to log in, but when trying to view the .pdf of the monthly invoice, I get a message that it is broken and cannot be repaired.

Nope..neither can I and to exacerbate matters, Autopage has hit me with a bill of almost R1400!! Can't check it...nothing...this problem is ongoing for close onto two weeks.

I can tell you many stories about this incompetent company...

I once had to resort to a shouting contest with one of their customer services agents at the head office when I wanted to do a simple name change on one of my contracts. I sent them several e-mails, faxes and I called them up, but they were unable to do it.

The lady got very upset with me because I was raising my voice, so she started shouting back at me that they received nothing, until I pointed out the fact that I can see the faxes sticking out from the file she clutched in her left hand.

Not even an apology after that. They even managed to misspell the new account holder's name and address although it was clearly indicated on the fax and e-mails I sent them.

A week ago I had to listen in as one of my clients was on the phone with them asking why they keep 'losing' his proof of identity, which he sent them several times . They also refused to put him through to the floor manager when asked to.

I used to work for them, the online accounts system is down more than it is up, I know this for sure!
All you can really do is wait, cos there is one guy who seems to deal with it(unless it has changed) and from past experience he was never in much of a hurry to sort it out.

Autopage / N De Klerk / 8436
Ruling of the : ASA Directorate
In the matter between:
Nick De Klerk Complainant(s)/Appellant(s)
Autopage Cellular (Pty) Limited Respondent

09 Feb 2007

Mr de Klerk lodged a consumer complaint against an advertisement for a “FREE Embedded Laptop” with “HSDPA 500Mb” appearing on www.autopage.co.za.

The advertisement states, inter alia, as follows:

“Free Embedded Laptop…
Subscription: R570pm x 36
Monthly Cost: R570pm x 36”

COMPLAINT
In essence, the complainant submitted that the advertisement is misleading, as the laptop is not free. The tariff is on the Vodacom HSDPA service is R350 per month, yet Autopage charges a subscription of R570 per month. The additional costs are intended to make up the price of the laptop.

RELEVANT CLAUSES OF THE CODE OF ADVERTISING PRACTICE
In light of the complaint the following clauses of the Code were taken into account:

• Section II, Clause 4.2.1 – Misleading claims

• Section II, Clause 4.4 – Use of the word “free”

RESPONSE
The respondent submitted that it had appointed a new Internet developer, who was not correctly trained in terms of constructing and advertising offers. It has, however, with immediate effect, corrected the error on the website and the offer has been withdrawn and reloaded in the correct format.

ASA DIRECTORATE RULING
The ASA Directorate considered all the relevant documentation submitted by the respective parties.

The ASA has a long standing principle which holds that where an advertiser provides an unequivocal undertaking to withdraw or amend its advertising in a manner that addresses the concerns raised, the undertaking is accepted without considering the merits of the matter.

The respondent submitted that the advertisement will be withdrawn and that all necessary steps will be taken to ensure that such errors do not reoccur.

As the respondent’s undertaking appears to address the complainant’s concerns, there is no need for the Directorate to consider the merits of the matter.

The undertaking is therefore accepted on condition that the advertising is withdrawn in its current format within the deadlines stipulated in Clause 15.3 of the Procedural Guide, and is not used again in future.

The big cellular rip-off

Cellphone providers force customers to ride out contracts, because of exorbitant cancellation penalties and full contract payout. However, experts say demanding subscription charges, to the end of the contract term, should be considered legally unreasonable.

This is what ITWeb discovered during an investigation into the costs of bowing out of agreements with mobile service providers.

After a tip from a reader, who was asked to pay nearly R10 000 to be released from an Altech Autopage Vodacom contract, ITWeb contacted the call centres of MTN, Cell C, Vodacom, Virgin Mobile, Nashua Mobile and Altech Autopage Cellular, using the names and details of real subscribers. We also contacted these companies' spokesmen for further explanation on cancellation charges.

The investigation found Altech Autopage Cellular's contract to be the most expensive to exit. At least two customers were quoted almost R10 000 to cancel contracts with just over a year left on subscription. It would cost one customer R9 976.88 to exit a Vodacom Talk 130 contract that had 14 months outstanding.

Autopage would not comment on the matter and could not provide a breakdown of the costs involved in either subscriber's situation. However, the total figure in both cases amounts to almost double the amount the subscriber would pay if they took the contract to term.

Who the hell is Velocity Call centre and why have they phoned me twice a day offering me a free cell phone, R1000 worth of PnP vouchers and then Insurance? And why does it sound like they are phoning from the back of a truck? Why is it necessary to explain that they are phoning on behalf of Metropolitan life and Autopage celluar? Is this supposed to offer me comfort? Did autopage receive a nice bundle of money for selling my phone number? When is this bullshit going to end? I hope there is no one stupid enough to fall for this crap – because the minute you say Yes – boom you are recorded and the contract is signed – you then end up with God know’s what! It is terribly unethical – it really needs to end.

Velocity Call Centre - I am afraid your guys are doing a very poor job of sounding even remotely authentic!!

My Complaint

How far is too far? How much is too much? And where do you as a client draw the line?

I took out a 3G card with Autopage in September 2005. The number is 0826534980. In May 2007 I moved to Sweden, and started doing all my communication via email. There's 2 reasons for this.

Reason one is that the costs of making calls, internationally, to a call centre is very expensive, not because of the rate so much, but more because of the amount of time you spend holding, and having to repeat your story over and over again, along with the amount of times you get cut off, and have to call again. This is specifically true with Autopage.

Reason two is that if you use modern technology like Skype to make Voip calls over the internet, it does not allow you to phone the o860 number, which is the only one Autopage allows you to phone. Apparently it has to do with them having to record every conversation. This is strange, because if they record every conversation, why did I need to repeat myself so often?

So when my two year contract was up, I emailed my contact person in Port Elizabeth to ask, her what I should do. She said that she can cancel the account now, via email, but that it would also help to send a fax to the call centre. Now just to get things clear. I sent a fax from a very small boutique in the town where I live, which does not exist any more. We moved house twice since I've lived here. And I have a new laptop after the other one crashed out.

In April, when I was back in South Africa for a while, I decided to follow this up by phone. I started with my financial controller Mark Naidoo in Durban. He put me onto a couple of people, and then I realised that everyone is just moving the query along to the next department. Finance says it's with legal. Legal says it's with customer service, then backwards and forwards all the time. I explained the story to so many people and in the end, I ended up with Macey Pieterse and Samantha Chetty. And that is, after six months, where I still am. I have sent in excess of 30 emails and made more than 20 phone calls regarding this, and no one seems to want to sort this out.

Be that as it may, Autopage cannot seem to trace the fax, and have since the contract's expiry date in September 2007, till July 2008 been deducting R277 from my account every month, while I've been fighting to have the account cancelled and the debit order stopped. I have subsequently not sent another fax, but after fighting some more, I received this email from Macey Pieterse on 07/07/08.

I have removed your bank details in the meantime so that we do not submit another debit order to your bank at the end of July 2008.

Please accept my apologies for the service received from Altech Autopage Cellular.

Trust you find the above in order.

Kind regards

Macey Pieterse
Assistant Credit Manager (Consumer)

My question is this. How was she allowed to cancel the debit order now, after so many months of fighting and asking all kinds of people to do the same? And what right does Autopage have to continue deducting money, after a contract has finished its 24 months?

Here's what I want. I want Autopage to pay me back the R277 they deducted for every wrong month after the contract finished, along with the R12 for every debit order my bank charged me.

Below are the people that I have to thank for the terrible service. I have been sending emails every month to the following people, with no responses what so ever for the past nearly two months. It's as if they think that if they ignore it long enough it will just go away.

Macey Pieterse - After the initial emails, she stopped responding to my emails.
Samantha Chetty - She started off being very concerned, but has not responded to any of my emails since the 11th of August.
Nicoleen Billings - Her name started appearing on the emails as someone who could help. She read one of my emails on the 22nd of August, but has not responded to it.
Julia Williams - She seems to be the person in charge of making decisions. She has not really listened to my complaint, and now refuses to respond to any of my correspondence since about two months ago.
Refiloe Dyasi - He works at the managing director's office. After the first initial emails, where he tried to sort things out, he just disappeared, he does not even respond to any of my emails now.

What is the use of 2 links on the Autopage website that says contact our managing director's office or the service director's office, when you do that with a query that's been dragging on for more than 13 months now, and no one gets back to you?

That's why I am convinced that Autopage has the worst service of any company out there. I will be posting regularly to this blog until I get enough attention from the media, and my money back.